How do you stay positive when you share your living space with someone who wakes up angry and whines and cusses and swears and acts on his anger every moment of every day?
How do you deal with your own grief and challenges in a positive way when this negativity is all around you?
I am feeling stuck on the dark side and I can’t find the little light of mine to let it shine. Every tiny amber I reach for is killed, every star shot down.
There are so many happy thoughts and big ideas. And yet I can’t seem to hold on to any one. I am on a derailed train and it is going over that cliff. Fast.
I know very well that someone else’s issues aren’t mine. Have nothing to do with me. And I know I have a choice to let them bounce off. I just can’t seem to hold on to any hope, can’t find anything to look forward to. Eight of Swords? Nine of Swords?
It only takes 16 seconds to start a new train of thoughts, new energy, new momentum. 16 seconds focus on something to smile about… To focus on that little light in a sleeping cat. Or in the pretty birds pecking away joyfully at the suet I left for them. Or the trusting little chipmunk wreaking havoc in the yard…
I am looking forward to spring when days are longer and brighter and every critter is out and about.
I love it when I have a thought and almost instantly have a matching experience. Perhaps I am thinking of a person and within moments the phone rings and it is that person calling me. Or I think of something I need and within a short period of time I find just the right thing at a yardsale I pass, perhaps, or somewhere else I did not expect going or think to look.
These things work the other way round as well, for instance if someone is thinking of me I may have a hiccup or just a flash thought of them, and maybe feel urged to call them just to find them telling me they were just thinking of me.
Sometimes when I look for something I get a thought of where that thing may be. I used to ignore those thoughts and spend hours looking before finally checking the spot I thought of first and finding the thing right there. I am finally learning to acknowledge and appreciate these wonderfully guided and insightful experiences.
Now, I often stop and call upon my intuition or guidance from within before taking action. And I find that almost every time I ask and expect the answer, it virtually instantly comes to me without fail. It makes me smile or even laught out loud with joy when I experience these amazing moments of my personal power to clearly ask and listen and receive.
At times when I am most ease and totally detached from what is going on around me, I am often surprised by the manifestations of me thoughts. Just the other day I thought how quiet this place is, and how fun it was when people used to just stop in to chat all the time. It was just a fleeting thought really. Not even a wish or desire. But that whole afternoon people were showing up to chat and say hello.
Life is good. And doesn’t take any effort to make it better. Just some quiet time and focus on recognizing and appreciating all the wonderful things and experiences and people in our lives. And the more we think about what makes us smile and feel warm and fuzzy and powerful and successful, the more of these great good things show up.
So if you feel stressed or worried or unhappy, sit down for a moment. Relax. Close your eyes and focus on what makes your heart sing. Just for a few minutes. And you will find that what bothered you before has moved out of your sight and everything feels easier, lighter and brighter. And then go and look for those fun things to show up everywhere to keep you smiling no matter what the task at hand.
I have been facing a bunch of difficulties here on the farm that are trying my creativity and abilities to say the least… Torrential rains and relentless critters munching away on my crops are just some of the influences that I am grappling with. Plants not growing or not producing crops is another challenge I am learning to deal with – calling on fellow farmers in the area who are willing to share their extras with me, or even buying things like sweet corn since mine was a complete loss.
There are many differences to Kate’s CSA besides number of members and her many years of experience. There were always 6 or 7 helpers on the farm, and a lot of action everywhere throughout the day.
I am here by myself, there is much less activity. It is quiet and peaceful and apparently quite inviting to the overflow of deer and rabbits and rodents that mess with my stuff 😉 And much less (wo)manpower to do the work.
In essence, running a CSA is quite an undertaking. And while I enjoy the work and farming very much, I have my share of disappointment and frustration with the things that don’t go well. I still am proud of the beautiful food I grow and the full bags I deliver.
I had big plans for my CSA – fun festivals on the farm, volunteer days throughout the season, scavenger hunt on and around the farm… But all these plans were derailed and fell flat as time progressed. Too few members right from the start, insurance limitations, Kate’s decision to move in spring, preparing for her move early in the season, and finally her move and decision to sell the farm… Things did not turn out as planned at all.
So now that Kate has moved to California and decided to sell the farm, I will be finishing my season here in early fall, and depending on the sale and new folks moving in, will probably stay on through winter to look after things here. This means of course that my CSA on Kate’s land is shorter lived than I initially planned. I am not certain where I will settle next year and whether I will have the opportunity to continue my CSA on another farm.
I thank all my members for their trust and giving me the wonderful opportunity to grow and deliver vegetables this summer. A big thank you also to my lovely drop site hosts! I appreciate all the support and feedback this season! And I regret not having had the chance to have everybody out here for the hands on festivities everyone enjoyed so much with Kate. And to continue growing with everybody through the seasons I hoped would follow this one.
My dog decided to take off after something this afternoon (4:15-4:30ish). So far she has not returned and my attempts to find her have left me empty handed.
She took off from 290th near cty V… She took off North but could have gone anywhere.
Leya is an English Shepherd and looks like a Border Collie/German Shepherd cross… Mostly black with a white chest and feet and some white on the nose. She wears a bandana and has tags. Very friendly but may be standoffish with men.
Leya is a service dog and very important to me. If you see her pls let me know.
I have posted on local list serv and appreciate any further distribution.
Thank you all!!