Where is that little light?

How do you stay positive when you share your living space with someone who wakes up angry and whines and cusses and swears and acts on his anger every moment of every day?

How do you deal with your own grief and challenges in a positive way when this negativity is all around you?

I am feeling stuck on the dark side and I can’t find the little light of mine to let it shine. Every tiny amber I reach for is killed, every star shot down.

There are so many happy thoughts and big ideas. And yet I can’t seem to hold on to any one. I am on a derailed train and it is going over that cliff. Fast.

I know very well that someone else’s issues aren’t mine. Have nothing to do with me. And I know I have a choice to let them bounce off. I just can’t seem to hold on to any hope, can’t find anything to look forward to. Eight of Swords? Nine of Swords?

It only takes 16 seconds to start a new train of thoughts, new energy, new momentum. 16 seconds focus on something to smile about… To focus on that little light in a sleeping cat. Or in the pretty birds pecking away joyfully at the suet I left for them. Or the trusting little chipmunk wreaking havoc in the yard…

I am looking forward to spring when days are longer and brighter and every critter is out and about.

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Winter Blessings

Snow quietly descends from the silver winter sky and powders the world in a delicate layer of shimmery white. I am curled up cozy and warm indoors with a purring kitten in my lap. Enjoying a fresh cup of coffe and fresh chocolate chip waffles, I am looking out, pondering the beauty and quietude of this season in the country. 

Rarely a car goes by and besides the milk truck and snow plow rattling along there does not seem to be much astir. Even the blue jays and squirrels have disappeared, crows sit all poufed up and silent in the trees and only tiny tracks tell of rabbits, rats, and mice still bustling about in the snow.

With temperatures well below 0°F there really is little motivation to go outside, and I am grateful that I seized the sunny afternoon yesterday and brought in a barrow-load of fire wood. Though quite a bit colder, the sun and blue sky made it much more bearable to be out and about and I did accomplish quite a bit before the chill got to my bones and enticed me back into my comfortable, well heated abode.

To all of you, whatever your climate may be, I send warm and wonderful wishes for the season and beyond. May the old year end in peace and harmony, and the new one rise and shine with infinite possibilities, prosperity, and above all love, laughter and happiness.

Winter

It is snowing. I love watching the big flakes swirl and dance in the air and like a glittery powder cover the puffy pine trees and line the bare branches of the giant oaks around the house. It is beautiful for sure. And sitting by a warm fire, sipping hot tea, gazing out the window, I can say I love winter. But it is also harboring a sense of isolation as the below zero temperatures stifle my sense of adventure and activity… 

I started helping out at a neighbor’s horse ranch and there are a couple of unsocialized stud colts I want to work with. But as the only space available is the outdoor round pen, my enthusiasm to spend time with the colts takes the back seat to my desire to stay warm and comfy and dry indoors.

I am longing for milder temperaturs and brighter sunlight to lift my spirits, and for the energy to rise up and take on the world. Luckily the forecast for next week promises milder weather.